You Sheng:-
I love my new cell group, not that I transferred to another cell but I'm referring to its metamorphosis. Ahhh... the snug location behind Hebrews Cafe, haimish feeling, refreshes the stagnated mind-a consequence culminated from dwelling too long in an army camp becuz really.. I am seldom my true self in camp. Does it also call to mind an Arabian setting? hahah maybe it does with some exotic carpets and dimly-lit candles for the ambience :p And 5-7pm for cell also happens to be a time the mind is more active than previously, which spanned over the afternoon lull..
Well.. so much for all this extoling, its effect is but to juxtapose a not so serene environment in my camp. Maybe its God's way to let me appreciate the joys of fellowship. Perhaps this serves to accentuate the warmth of family life.. but not without feeling especially unfulfilled in camp!
After a while, its not funny to degraded from serving to slaving. To my army "friends", its ok, I'll clean my section(8 men) weapon GPMG alone and im always chosen to help my driver break the stupid tracks while u all sleep.. but do any of you respect physical limitations? When Im not feeling good albeit not reporting sick, and performing a lil worse than usual, well, take it upon me that im "tuang-ing"(slacking)? Given any day I could run faster than most pple with some effort.. and hang in there easily when some arms would go limb after 60 push-ups..Try living my life..
To my "brothers in arms"(from Infantry song), do you think its funny to blurt out "Jesus is great!" and drown out our conversation when I answer zhong hua's phone call? How many times have you insulted God just to hurt me or crack a joke? Call my bible a fantasy book? Then the REAL world you're living in and all its bible-fulfilled prophecies and bible-academia-cross-examined history is imaginary too I suppose. Is only your dream world real? Hahah.
When you happen to ask a degrading rhetorical question or masking some disdainful agenda, Im so rude not to reply or "tao" you is it? Im just numbed to it; desensitised if you prefer.
Sometimes I wonder, to be always thinking of "whatever things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy and meditate on these things." Phil 4:8 This is so necessary to ameliorate a certain inherent weakness of us melancholics, for the benefit of anyone who reads and happens to understand about personality, that the thought life is never easy for us. To rejoice and be thankful in all circumstances has to be learnt from SCRATCH. And me in this case, am succeptible to insults and verbal cruelty! Yes I am!!! Its only God and his positive words that saved my skin; redeemed me so many times..
Just "voicing" out this unhappiness feels so good already. Pardon me for the complex; not so friendly sentences. It happens when thou is on an emotional whim heh.
I love my new cell group, not that I transferred to another cell but I'm referring to its metamorphosis. Ahhh... the snug location behind Hebrews Cafe, haimish feeling, refreshes the stagnated mind-a consequence culminated from dwelling too long in an army camp becuz really.. I am seldom my true self in camp. Does it also call to mind an Arabian setting? hahah maybe it does with some exotic carpets and dimly-lit candles for the ambience :p And 5-7pm for cell also happens to be a time the mind is more active than previously, which spanned over the afternoon lull..
Well.. so much for all this extoling, its effect is but to juxtapose a not so serene environment in my camp. Maybe its God's way to let me appreciate the joys of fellowship. Perhaps this serves to accentuate the warmth of family life.. but not without feeling especially unfulfilled in camp!
After a while, its not funny to degraded from serving to slaving. To my army "friends", its ok, I'll clean my section(8 men) weapon GPMG alone and im always chosen to help my driver break the stupid tracks while u all sleep.. but do any of you respect physical limitations? When Im not feeling good albeit not reporting sick, and performing a lil worse than usual, well, take it upon me that im "tuang-ing"(slacking)? Given any day I could run faster than most pple with some effort.. and hang in there easily when some arms would go limb after 60 push-ups..Try living my life..
To my "brothers in arms"(from Infantry song), do you think its funny to blurt out "Jesus is great!" and drown out our conversation when I answer zhong hua's phone call? How many times have you insulted God just to hurt me or crack a joke? Call my bible a fantasy book? Then the REAL world you're living in and all its bible-fulfilled prophecies and bible-academia-cross-examined history is imaginary too I suppose. Is only your dream world real? Hahah.
When you happen to ask a degrading rhetorical question or masking some disdainful agenda, Im so rude not to reply or "tao" you is it? Im just numbed to it; desensitised if you prefer.
Sometimes I wonder, to be always thinking of "whatever things that are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy and meditate on these things." Phil 4:8 This is so necessary to ameliorate a certain inherent weakness of us melancholics, for the benefit of anyone who reads and happens to understand about personality, that the thought life is never easy for us. To rejoice and be thankful in all circumstances has to be learnt from SCRATCH. And me in this case, am succeptible to insults and verbal cruelty! Yes I am!!! Its only God and his positive words that saved my skin; redeemed me so many times..
Just "voicing" out this unhappiness feels so good already. Pardon me for the complex; not so friendly sentences. It happens when thou is on an emotional whim heh.
nIssI loved @
8:14 PM
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